Why won't you dance with me? (true story)
I will never forget her.
She was in tears when she asked, "Why won't you dance with me?"
I was 14-15 at the time. I didn't know how to dance. I was trying to be the "cool guy". The guy who sits in the background. The guy who doesn't dance.
Her name was Laura. It was her birthday party. I let her down.
Fast-forward a couple years...
I was at another party.
This time I was with my dad. He brought me to a party hosted by his old gang buddies friends.
He was the "cool guy" I was trying to be like at Laura's party.
But this party was different.
I looked at the dance floor and there were more girls than guys.
I remembered Laura. I figured there might be a Laura on the dance floor. Just looking for someone to dance with.
So I went out there. I danced. With no one in particuar.
I just danced.
It didn't take long before someone grabbed my by my tshirt. It was my dad. He pulled me outside. He told me, "You are making me look a fucking idiot."
Apparently, it embarrassed him because I was dancing with no one in particular.
We left the party.
I cried in his truck during the drive home. Which made things worse. He told me, "Everyone can hear you crying. I'm ashamed of you."
Fast-forward to today...
I "dance" when I want.
(Often times in the shower, heh.)
I do what I want.
I write how I wish (and get paid lots of money for it).
I've set up a life for myself where I am free to do as I wish.
I now realize being cool isn't about acting tough or macho. It's about being yourself. It's about not giving a fuck. It's doing what you want. When you want.
However you want.
It's about allowing yourself to feel great.
And not caring about what other people think.
Fast-forward to the future...
I don't know how long I'll be here. I could die tomorrow or I could be around another 100 years. Who knows.
What I do know is this: one day I may just decide to crash a birthday party. And dance.
I'll get on the dance floor and let everyone know it's okay.
It's okay to be yourself.
It's okay to dance.
No one is stopping you.
Get your boogie on.