Bad News: The FTC Bans Raymond Duke From Writing Copy (His Conversions Were Just TOO Damn Good!)
Today's one of the worst days in my life. I cannot recall a time when I've been so down. The closest sad memory I have was back in 3rd grade when Arlene threw my Valentine's Day card in the trash.
Oh, FTC, why have you slapped me so hard? Was I really such a threat to you? Did Arlene tell you to reject me?
Here's the email they sent me this morning.
I bet you're wondering if I'm going to comply with the FTC. My professional answer is...
"Hell naw, dawg."
They can try to keep me down, but this corgi still has bite. Besides, what would my clients say if I were to stop helping them make more money?
On the flipside and speaking of money, I'm going to need you to give me some money.
Defending myself against the FTC isn't cheap, you know. After all, they have the benefit of being able to print cash on demand with their fancy money-making printing machines.
But I'm not worried, because I have the benefit of printing money too. Instead of using a printing press, I use a keyboard.
If you'd like me to "print" some cash for your business and thus share a percentage of said profits with me as reciprocation, go here to begin.
Together we can fight this.
We can make America the greaterest country in the world, one conversation at a time.
Simple present with me with a great product and I'll help more people than you thought possible realize it's worth paying for.